Twenty-nine things I don’t want to read

9 Nov

Pitcher Cliff Lee, a “physical Cliff”

I feel a little grumpy today, so here’s a list of things I would be damn okay never seeing again:

  1. Enormity used in a sentence to mean big.
  2. When I read something like the enormity of campaign spending, I wonder if the writer means spending is heinous or just really big.
  3. It could be both, I guess.
  4. I’m already tired of fiscal cliff.
  5. What other cliffs will we come up with?
  6. When Christmas Eve comes, will last-minute shoppers be peering over the Christmas Cliff?
  7. If you’re running out of food, will you be close to the refrigacliff?
  8. If we fall off the fiscal cliff, is it a cliffatality?
  9. I’m trademarking that one.
  10. Cliffatality™
  11. I hope it doesn’t get as bad as all those ageddon words last year.
  12. Like Stormageddon.
  13. How about Cliffageddon?
  14. We’ve reached a perfect storm of lazy writing
  15. Oh yes, and perfect storm is a perfect example.
  16. That’s why I can’t watch that movie.
  17. The title became a cliché.
  18. I don’t want to read Definitely spelled with an a.
  19. When did that start? I don’t remember anyone regularly misspelling definitely in seventh grade.
  20. An easy way to avoid misspelling definitely is to never write it.
  21. Is I will never again stick uncooked spaghetti up my nose any stronger if I add definitely in there?
  22. Didn’t think so.
  23. We all remember what Stephen King said about adverbs.
  24. And that thing where I just asked and answered my own question?
  25. Enough of that, too.
  26. Should I assume anyone else is asking the same question?
  27. I think not.
  28. Oops, I did it again.
  29. Now you have that song stuck in your head.

P.S. Check out these books in which I refuse to take my own medicine. I mean, please do, because the holidays are nigh, and I don’t want to be too broke on Christmas Cliff to buy my children their woolen socks.

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