The Case of the Sullied Samsonite

A snowflake was allegedly spotted 30 miles southeast of our city, so we’re on DEFCON 1 around here. Schools and a lot of business are closed. Since we humans no longer have to worry much about saber-toothed tigers or the Bubonic plague, I think we’re secretly excited about the dangers of puffy snow. But what […]

I was THIS close to being a famous songwriter

While late-summer cleaning at the Smith Estates, I uncovered a treasure trove of unpublished song lyrics. After you experience a small sampling of this lyrical magic, which I created as a teenager, you’ll wonder why I’m not churning out the hits in Nashville or L.A. If you’re not prepared to be in awe, go find a kitten video. (No […]

Our dog: the gift that keeps on giving (on our bed)

The Smith family is precariously close to dispensing with all Christmas giving pretense and getting our own gifts. This year, we spent an inordinate amount of time sending photos to each other. We did this to make sure we gave exactly what the other person wanted. Which shirt color do you like? Take a closer […]

A profane family history

I was nine or ten the first time I heard my granddad pepper his speech with cuss words. I could still point out within a five square foot area where I stood in his barnyard when he let loose one of those forbidden four-letter words in my presence.  I had crossed some invisible line of […]

If the pants fit

When I was a kid, my grandpa showed up at our house one day wearing wrinkled brown pants that looked as though they’d been cut from a gunnysack. He was awfully proud of his find. “Got them at a store where you buy your clothes by the ounce,” he said. “Got about three pounds worth.” […]